Can a man be stolen from you if he doesn’t want? Two Kenyan women feud over “their” man

The Nairobian

Two women are engaged in a bitter fight over a man, with both claiming to be married to him legally.

Alice Nyaguthii is one of them, and she is sad. She was happily married to Moses Mureithi Kibocha, until one morning, a month after she had delivered their second born. He sent her a text message warning her: “Don’t ever call me, I have found someone else.”

The other woman in Kibocha’s life was Agnes Wairimu Kinga, a former regional sales representative with East African Breweries. Alice tried convincing Agnes to let Mureithi return to his family.

Agnes sent her a text message: ‘Having his kids in quick succession doesn’t make you a wife but a very desperate woman. Since you are broke save that cash and feed your sick kids instead of wasting it on calling him.’

Agnes then sent another text saying that if Alice knew some things, ‘utalia machozi’ (you will cry).

“I have slept in your house in Ratna, Mombasa, not even once, and I can describe the house in detail. He never loved you amekuwaste (he has wasted you).”

The text continued: “We made love on your bed at his request, even on the sofa and we almost broke that ka-glass table. He gives me all the little cash he makes, and it’s why he never has anything to send you. Whatever little he makes, is right here in my purse. Anyway, try and forget him and take care of your kids as a single mum.”

“I have been left all alone in Mombasa, I don’t know whether to go upcountry or to stay here. I need a job and I don’t know what to do. I ask anybody who can help me get a job to come to my aid,” says Alice.

We stayed for eight months ‘akiniita tasa’ (calling me barren.) “We had our first born in Feb 16, 2011, and our second born in October 26, 2012. A month after the birth of our second born, he woke up and said he was going to Nairobi. There is no woman who can stop her man from going anywhere to seek employment. I let him go. That’s when he stopped communicating,” offers Alice.

Her plea that he supports his children were responded to with a text: “I depend on this woman who earns a lot of money at Kenya Breweries (which she has since left), yeye ni mkubwa huko na sikuwa (she is a big shot there) na otherwise than to come and live with her as she had suggested. I have to survive since Nairobi life is tough when you don’t have a job. We’re even getting married since money isn’t an issue to her, and she’s pregnant.”

The Nairobian sought Agnes Wairimu for her side of the story.

“She (Alice) is not normal. I have a five-year-old son with the man (Kibocha). She has a three-year-old daughter with the man, between me and her, who stole the other’s husband?” she poses.

Agnes says Kibocha went to work in Mombasa and over time, got entangled in a relationship with Alice. “When my husband realised he had messed up, he came back to me, confessed, and we underwent counselling together. Why is (Alice) Nyaguthii on my case? Was I there when she was getting knocked up? In fact, I am the one who should be running around accusing her of stealing my husband,” retorts Agnes.

Barrage of insults

She adds: “A husband is not like a handbag or a wallet that can be stolen. Nyaguthii, me and my husband are all grownups, and a man will make his decision, he can’t be stolen. In fact, she has no proof at all that she was married to my husband. I am the one with the marriage certificate. I am the one whose home, dowry was paid.”

Agnes denies sending Alice offensive text messages and insists she is the one who has been under continuous barrage of insults.

“She has called me all sorts of names, she came to my workplace and even to my house. I had to report her to Kasarani police station under OB number 372/21/8/2013.”

Agnes argues that Alice is simply a case of an ex who can’t let go, adding that, “my husband has been paying child support, and if she thinks it hasn’t been happening, there are proper avenues to follow. She can go to Children’s Court and get help. Nobody is above the law.”

Alice on the other hand is bitter she has to struggle to bring up the kids alone when he’s alive enjoying a woman’s money.

“Recently he told me that he’d deleted the kids in his life and was not going to see or support them,” says Alice, who doesn’t know where he lives. Moses Mureithi couldn’t be reached for comment since his phone was off by the time we went to press.