One day I’ll write about con games in the Judiciary

Chief Justice Willy Mutunga (centre) addresses the media outside Supreme Court on February 5, 2016 where he received report from the special Judicial Service Committee set up to inquire onto the allegation of bribery against Justice Philip Tunoi. PHOTO | JEFF ANGOTE | NATION MEDIA GROUP  

In Summary

• My main character will be Kamau, a waiter at a popular nyama choma joint somewhere around Thika.
• He can recognise at least two of the faces as those of prominent lawyers he has watched talking on TV on several occasions.
• As darkness falls on the Thika eatery, the three patrons hurriedly make their way to the parking lot after munching their kilo of roast meat.
• For the next hour or so, Kamau watches in disbelief as the JSC lawyer fires seemingly tough questions about the candidate’s legal philosophy and reform credentials, which the candidate takes like chicken feed. 

By OTIENO OTIENO

One day I will try my hand at fiction, and write about this place called the Judiciary ala Binyavanga Wainaina.

I will attempt to tell the story of the fraudulent schemes behind the veil of sacredness and how elite interests often converge to capture and manipulate Kenya’s judicial arm of government.

I will show why recent attempts to reform the institution through vetting or the so-called radical surgery were a farce.

My main character will be Kamau, a waiter at a popular nyama choma joint somewhere around Thika. One Sunday afternoon Kamau finds himself waiting at the isolated table reserved for three patrons who initially place an order for beer and soda.

He can recognise at least two of the faces as those of prominent lawyers he has watched talking on TV on several occasions.

One of the two is also familiar from his days in active politics.

But Kamau can’t figure out who the guy in glasses – the more reflective one – is. 

As darkness falls on the Thika eatery, the three patrons hurriedly make their way to the parking lot after munching their kilo of roast meat.

Kamau thanks his lucky stars for a generous tip and moves on to his next customer. But even as he retires to bed back in his shanty house, images of the two lawyers and the guy in glasses keep popping up.

The next day had been hyped in the media as the peak of the Judiciary vetting, with the overwhelming favourite for the post of honcho scheduled to appear before the interview panel.

Media reports had mostly portrayed him in superlative terms, including “a reformer”, and “a moral icon”. 

JOINS THE CROWD 

The staff and patrons at the Thika eatery flock to the seats next to the TV sets to follow the afternoon proceedings live. 

The interview panel, made up of members of the Judicial Service Commission (JSC), has taken its position by the time Kamau joins the crowd. He immediately identifies one of the panellists as one of the lawyers he served nyama choma yesterday.

Then comes the scene that shocks Kamau and shapes his opinion of the Judiciary profoundly. The candidate who shortly takes the supposedly hot seat before the JSC interview panel is none other than the guy in glasses – the one who ate nyama choma with the lawyer on the interview panel.

For the next hour or so, Kamau watches in disbelief as the JSC lawyer fires seemingly tough questions about the candidate’s legal philosophy and reform credentials, which the candidate takes like chicken feed. 

Kamau is, however, quick to see the business and funny side of the show, and convinces the management to name the isolated table the “Honchos Corner” at which patrons are charged an extra fee.

He also jokes regularly about how he hosted the panel that hired the honcho.

jkotieno@ke.nationmedia.com. @otienootieno