Tale of miserable housewives of Nairobi's leafy suburbs

 Lounge | By Nduku Muema

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• Mention a leafy suburb to your average ‘hustler’ and they will tell you, that is where real life happens! A common dream that many Kenyan women have is to settle down with a rich man.
• To many, this is the easiest ticket to getting bought a posh car, living in fully furnished top-of-the class master ensuite mansions complete with spacious servant quarters, holidaying in the world’s finest holiday destinations, to taking children to hig- end international schools and shopping at world-famous destinations.

The perception out here is that people in posh estates have it good. Consequently, in their pursuit for happiness, young Kenyan women are dying to bag a rich man. However, what most don’t know is that life among ‘hustlers’ could actually be more enjoyable than in posh neighborhoods with rich spouses, where they are dying to go live.

Many assume that only the proverbial honey and milk is found in the leafy suburbs. But on the contrary, the unhappiness there is as plenty as the money! A sneak view into life in Nairobi’s leafy suburbs gives the true meaning of ‘the rich also cry’ and ‘money cannot buy happiness’. 

We learnt that a good number of unavailable husbands actually hail from the so-called leafy suburbs. We have been told most of them constitute the ever-busy business types. When they are not coming home late from business meetings, they are sleeping away from home for weeks signing business deals out of the country, leaving sex and attention-starved wives and neglected children clinging to expensive toys.

The husbands-cum-fathers are always on transit to Congo, Uganda, Rwanda and even outside Africa on business.

Seeking solace of watchmen,drivers, shamba boys, adult toys

“A good number of the rich in such places work so hard that they hardly have time for their spouses. I worked for one family in Kileleshwa where the man of the house was hardly available, except for a few weekends. He was ever in meetings with his business associates in town, till late or out of the country,” reveals Mumbi, a former house girl.

Mumbi says most of these neglected but moneyed women take solace in their drivers, shamba boys, adult toys and other men below their social class. She says the loneliness in those places make women do all sorts of crazy things. “The unavailable husbands make women invest in adult toys, quench their ‘thirst’ with shamba boys, watchmen and drivers,” she says.

Mumbi adds that others just create pseudo accounts and take to social media to vent, cry and whine. “The boredom of housewives in leafy suburbs make them form social media pages where they do nothing but gossip about their unavailable husbands, their bedroom fantasies and all sorts of naughty stuff,” she says, mentioning a few common secret Facebook pages as examples.

Of unavailable hubbies and lonely, bored wives

But so what? The dwellers of uptown will ask you? They say it is better to cry in a top-of-the class Range Rover Sports car than to laugh on a bicycle. Tell them money cannot buy happiness, and they will tell you it can buy a JetSki and quickly ask you if you have ever seen a sad person on a Jetski. Listen to the story of Sally*, an uptown Nairobi woman. Sally is a senior civil servant married to a filthy rich businessman. She complains money has made her husband too arrogant and carefree. Says it has inflated his ego and made him aloof, he never listens to anyone.

“He comes home and goes out as he pleases without saying where he is going or coming from. He disappears and appears in the house just like the rodents in the kitchen. He spends large sums of money without informing me. He will never consult me on anything or any major spending,” narrates the mother of three, adding that her husband thinks that money is all a woman and children need. “I’m always caught by surprise that he has a new sleek Mercedes Benz, a new iPhone or is in the process of acquiring another beach plot. He never wants me to ask whom he spends time out with or just how his day was,” she says.

Co-wives and siblings locked in court battles

She continues: “He has neglected my needs and assumes that money will fill the void. That is of course not the case. I am seeing a junior colleague at work who is giving me all the attention I deserve. I spend on him at my husband’s expense and I have no regrets. I’m just trying to use the money at my disposal to buy the attention and happiness I need. I would be happier though if my husband gave me more attention and less money.” The story of Alice*, a trained teacher but now a stay-at-home mother in Kileleshwa sounds like a script from a Nollywood movie. Alice says that her rich husband treats her like trash. He physically and verbally abuses her in front of their two children, aged six and four. She does not know exactly what her husband does for living. Money has made him too randy. He sometimes brings home his numerous girlfriends, masquerading as business partners, in turns and spends the night with them in the guest room.

Her husband spends money on his friends and relatives, but hardly spends any on his wife and children. He is generous with other people but his family. The only time he does not mind giving is when he initiates it, if she does, she is met with verbal and physical abuse.
“He spends a lot on his high-maintenance clandestine women, but sometimes will deliberately not pay our rent until the landlord starts nagging us. It is very humiliating!” says Alice.

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She goes on to add that he hardly has time for her and the children. He is always in and out of the country. She says when he is in the country, he leaves early and comes back late, most time dead drunk. Away from lonely filthy rich married women, the leafy suburbs have other fair shares of life feeding people with lemons. From dragging law suits over property among co-wives and children, some families full of spoilt mannerless brats, to senior bachelorettes who seemingly can’t find men in their league to date or marry.

Fat wallets earning bachelorettes cold nights

Carol*, a 36-year-old senior human resource officer is rich and single. Carol complains that getting a man in her class to date or marry has been an uphill task.

“Money is good but at some point you realise you cannot curl with it on a cold night and cuddle. I need a man in my life but most of the men fit for me whom I meet socially or over work are married,” says Carol, adding: “Trouble with life in the leafy suburbs is that you will meet men, but most are not into equally monied women. They prefer less fortunate women who will be dependent on them, thus easy to control.” On the other hand, the number of rich families dragging each other in courts and tugging in nasty property tussles would surprise anyone who thinks it is all bliss - eat, dine and merry - in these wealthy set ups.

Spoilt brats running amok

Those not in court are battling with saving drunkard and drug addicted children. Like ‘hustler’ who face a myriad of challenges, most rich families, too, go through hell. For instance, a good number of these families have at least one black sheep, those lazy adult rascals wasting in alcohol and drugs.

Some have to contend with rascals who occasionally call home, asking daddy or mummy to immediately send them large sums of cash as pocket money or else they will throw themselves off the tenth floor balcony of whatever building they are on! When it comes to diseases, the rich, too, have their fair share of illnesses. In fact, for them, some of the diseases that they they suffer from  are courtesy of their lifestyles.

However, the parting shot here, like some sage once said, is: “Always remember that money is not everything in life, but make sure you have enough before saying such nonsense.”
Read More By: Nduku Muema