Our parents are usually an important part of our upbringing and responsible for shaping our adulthood. God can’t be everywhere that is why he created parents, however not everyone is blessed with loving, caring, and attentive parents. Many grownups struggle with relationships with their parents and consider them responsible for their present circumstances and life. Mentioned below is a list of some ways that can help you forgive your parents and reconnect with them.
1. Redefine your relationship
Forgiving anyone is not easy and takes time. Its important to redefine your relationships and parents are no exception. Let your relationship evolve by understanding each other and accepting the fact that your parents are human and make mistakes. Do not let your bitter past influence your present relationship with your parents.
2. Get your emotions out
Do not lock your thoughts and emotions inside. Share your heart with someone you trust who can guide you as to what you might be holding inside. Proper counselling and sharing your thoughts with someone reduces the burden that you have been carrying for a long time.
3. Understand they also had constraints
Try to figure out the past of your parents. Maybe whatever they did with you was everything they knew about parenthood. They might have had flawed pasts too. We reciprocate whatever we see and often parents who were abused and victimized as children do not always make good parents. Try not to judge them without knowing everything about their past.
4. Find positivity in your pain
Its important to be positive to forgive someone and move on in life. The best way of finding positivity in bad behavior of your parents is by thanking them for teaching you what not to do as a parent. Analyzing the way you felt as a child while dealing with your parents is a good way of understanding how your child might feel while dealing with you. The blueprint of what not to do as parents helps you become a better parent.
5. Accept the present situation
Its important to accept your present situation and stop wishing things were better. There is no benefit in pretending or dramatizing, this will make the situation worse. Decide to be a caregiver and do your best to adapt to that role. Understand that you cannot control everything that happens in your life and only true love and care can improve your relationship with your parents.
6. Think about your flaws
We all are human and have limitations. Thinking about your own flaws will help you understand that your parents are also allowed to have limitations.
7. Think good thoughts
Some parents are very strict with their children which can make them feel unloved and unwanted. When our parents make harsh decisions for us it can hurt, but prove beneficial in the long run. Look at the bright side of your relationship and understand that whatever your parents gave you was probably all they had. Understand that your parents made sacrifices to raise you.
8. Talk to them
Communication is key for a healthy relationship. Talk to your parents and try to figure out what is not working. Do not let your rage out. Instead talk about what you can do to make the relationship better. It will bring you closer to your parents and make forgiving them easier. Talking to your parents may also make you look at their perspective and might help you see some things that you were missing.
9. Be patient
Its not a good idea to expect things to improve overnight. Bitterness in the relationship with your parents happens over a long period of time therefore forgiveness also takes time. Be patient and believe in yourself. Keep positive and continue believing that forgiveness is an attribute of strong people and you are one of them.
10. Believe in God
Regardless of which religion you practice its important to believe in God. Every religion teaches us to forgive the sins of others. Believe that God knows what you have been and are going through and by forgiving your parents, you are evolving as a person.You might be thinking that it is easy to sermonize without knowing what you are going through. While you are right in thinking so, forgiving your parents will strengthen your relationship and will set an example for your kids.
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