It has become common to hear most grown up Kenyan women (including single mothers) who should ideally be married claim that they prefer having boyfriends to getting married.
And this is not just a Kenyan trend. Last week Shonda Rhimes, the creator of popular television shows Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy and How To Get Away with Murder, was hosted on The Oprah Winfrey Network’s “SuperSoul Sunday” show by Oprah herself.
Both ladies who are on a career high proceeded to declare that they had both chosen not to get married, and were proud of their decision.
Rhimes, a mother of three daughters, further reiterated that despite not being interested in marriage, she, however, did not mind male company. In fact, her exact words were: “I love having boyfriends. I love dating,”. She further clarified, saying, “I do not want a husband in my house”. Ouch!
Single women
Seemingly, there are no proper men for marriage. So dire is the situation that we have heard of cases where women have had to marry themselves. Doubting? Just Google the names Yasmin Eleby or Nadine Schweigert or Natalie Kim.
Heck! The number of single women around here today has shot up. These are women who have decided that the cost of having a husband is too high a price. They, instead, chose to use men only when indeed of a good time, sperm to make babies, and when they are done, ditch them by the wayside.
Although there are those who may consider this extreme behaviour or just another case of the modern woman gone cuckoo, there are valid reasons that would drive a sane woman to shun marriage and even go ahead and give up men for good.
All you have to do is look at the quality of husbands that today’s Kenyan society is churning out. So you get the enviable grandiose wedding. In a bid to be the ‘traditional’ nice wife, you give up your freedom and independence.
But a few months down the line, it hits you that you actually got a raw deal. The man is anything but a husband. You realise he is a poor provider, lazy, philanderer and clueless about keeping a woman.
Best wives
Such is the sad case with most Kenyan men. Most give no morale for their women to be best wives of yore.
Because the union ends up being a one-sided affair, where the woman gives her all to a husband who just doesn’t care or only offers stress, depression and annoyance in return.
It beats me. Why do men imagine that it’s only the woman who should change her lifestyle once she gets married? Men want to keep playing around, chasing other women, even when in marriage.
They don’t want to help with anything in the home because they believe every household chore is meant for the woman of the house.
These men extend their laziness to more sensitive matters like parenthood. Many men today seem to think that the only thing they owe their children is school fees and Sunday afternoon outing.
It is for such worrying trends that most grown women today prefer boyfriends to husband.
Most women want a man they will be with for a limited time; not daily. Sharing a roof with the average Kenyan man on a daily basis has proved to be a tricky affair to most women
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