Kijabe is a town in Kenya that does not permit the consumption of alcohol or cigarettes.

Ciku Muiruri should be told Revellers won't see themselves in a pub in Kijabe, its “A centre of Christian faith, AIC Kijabe — 'a place of the wind', not purity. No booze, no fags, no entertainment spots.” ........and as Lilian Mute said,  if pint is your everyday drink, Don’t go there.

You wont find a pud down in Kijabe. sorry.

By Ciku Muiruri

In Summary

I suppose if you are driving through and have your own supply, the locals would look at you like you were from another planet.
This sounds like a great town. 5,000 inhabitants. Small, non-intrusive…
Shudder. Someone go to Kijabe now and put these folk out of their misery.

There is a town in Kenya that does not permit the consumption of alcohol or cigarettes.

This is a true story. I read it in this very daily and it was not April Fool’s Day. You cannot buy the stuff anywhere.

I suppose if you are driving through and have your own supply, the locals would look at you like you were from another planet.

Wow. This is great news. I am a Kikuyu and I can spot a niche in the market from a mile away.

But first, let me do my civic duty and tell you what the good angel on my left is whispering in my ear.

She says that many of us are suffering from alcoholism and are either too economically challenged to go into a rehab centre or are simply embarrassed or would not be bothered.

She asks, why not move to Kijabe? No one drinks and no one smokes. What happens in Kijabe definitely stays in Kijabe because it will be too boring to repeat.

How interesting can things get when you are stone cold sober?

This sounds like a great town. 5,000 inhabitants. Small, non-intrusive… That used to be Thika, my hometown, which today has traffic jams because everyone moved down there after the birth of the super highway. Well, you newcomers can keep it. I am moving to Kijabe.

There has been no bar in 110 years of its existence. Y’all should NOT have spoken to a journalist if you wanted to keep it that way.

I am no lawyer, but I can see all sorts of legal issues with your town’s position, the moral code notwithstanding.

Why are you afraid of a bar? You could walk past it everyday and never enter. Why ban it?
Because you know, don’t you, what the rest of the drunks in the country know — that the Elixir of Death is too tempting to ignore — so better to ban it.

I have two minds about your town.

Too many of us have abused alcohol and would have been better off growing up in a town where we were not exposed to any.

But your belligerent young adults will find other more harmful ways to entertain themselves. Everyone has a vice.

Everyone must get up to something. It is the way of the world. I wonder what the youth in Kijabe get up to on a Saturday night.

I do not want to find out. So perhaps I will give Kijabe a wide berth after all.

Here is an advert for your town: “A centre of Christian faith — a citadel of purity. No booze, no fags, no entertainment spots.”

The guy responsible for all this was a missionary named Hulburt who was looking for land in Naivasha to set up this alcohol-free haven.

Lord Delamere beat him to it in what today is the Soysambu conservancy. How many times have you pulled over at the Delamere shopping centre?

It just may have been alcohol-free if ol’ Hulburt had got his way.

Shudder. Someone go to Kijabe now and put these folk out of their misery.

Sorry. That was a direct quote from the naughty one on my right shoulder.
I do not know what to make of this town. But like I said, they should have kept journalists out of there.

You cannot escape the call of the entrepreneurial spirit. And now that the word is out, well that is that. You cannot stop it.

There is such a thing as restraint of trade. Your prohibitive agreements run contrary to public policy.

Sorry, Kijabe, but your town laws, if challenged, will never hold up. Have a drink on me.

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