Laughter as prostitute robs client’s underground bank

Updated Sunday, April 21st 2013 a 20:07 GMT +

By  Eric Lungai

Whoever invented money must have been a rather mischievous fellow. He designed it to be scarce to necessitate as much evil as possible.

So not surprisingly, a victim who chose to bank ‘underground’ with the hopes of spending his fortune at an opportune time is crying foul after a village prostitute swept him clean. 

The industrious herds boy in Luanda, Vihiga County, got the shock of his life when he went to check the balance from his account.

Saving culture

For the year he had been looking after his boss’ animals, he had managed to save Sh20,000 with which he was planning to, upon topping up, build a modest house for himself later in the year.

His boss had insisted that he opens an account with a commercial bank of his choice to help him cultivate a saving culture. Unfortunately, he refused, expressing his distrust for banks and even likened them to pyramid schemes that once conned him.

Burying

He further defied his mother’s advice to keep his money beneath his mattress and chose to keep his money the best way he knew — burying it in the ground. After all he knew well how to keep his property, as he later claimed.

 “Banks are bad. One is required to queue for very long hours before being served by very rude and proud people. Also the banks have complicated everything. You never know whether your money is still there or they have ‘eaten’ it,” he scoffed at advisors.  

Instead, he took to hiding money in a hole he drilled in one corner of his simba (boy’s hut). He was assured that his money was safe, since no one came to his house in his absence.

One evening, however, he brought home a drunk prostitute who became a regular visitor to his humble abode. In the week’s that followed, she would often visit to quench his ‘thirst’ whenever the need arose.On one night, the poor chap was really ‘thirsty’, but unfortunately short of cash.

And considering that the lady of the night had this strict terms including not offering services on credit, he had no other option but to promptly pay her dues before being served honey.

There being no other option, he had to withdraw from his ‘underground bank’ to offset the bill, confident that the drunken girl did not see him make a ‘withdrawal’. But she had.

The woman came back the following day unannounced, as it had been her custom in his absence, and opened the door without anybody bothering her since village mates had seen her around his hut and assumed she was his girl.

Then she took all the money from the ‘account’ and locked the door before disappearing into thin air.

Gone

When the young man showed up in the evening, he noted something was amiss in his bedroom and quickly rushed to check if his money was still intact. The shock he got sent him screaming.

It’s gone… it is gone…it is gone… 20 — all of it,” he cried.

The neighbours who had thought some evil had befallen him were left baffled. What was ‘20’?  Where had it gone?

His mother arrived shortly to find him mourning and flailing his arms helplessly. With anger written all over her face, she told him off, reminding him she had warned him against that ‘woman’ and walked away as neighbours laughed their heads off.