Dead beat or not Nairobi women prone to being single mothers

By Cate Mukei Friday, September 19th 2014

In the wake of the explosive Dead Beat Kenya saga where single mothers were exposing runaway fathers on Facebook, The Nairobian has established that six out of 10 Kenyan women are likely to be single mothers by the time they reach 45, one of the highest rates for single-parent families in Africa.

A Pan-African study by two Canadian sociologists reveals an astounding new face of the Kenyan family; an increasing number of women drawn into single parenthood as more men abandon their traditional role as providers.
An array of factors, including irresponsible fathers, peer pressure and the struggle to cope with modernisation, have been blamed for the trend, in which three in 10 Kenyan girls become pregnant before the age of 18.

Sociologists warn that this trend could have a deep impact on society, including lower life prospects for the single parent child as compared to one brought up in a two-parent family.
Catherine Mbau, a psychologist at Arise Kenya Counselling Services, says naïve and desperate women are most likely to become victims of these ‘hit-and-run’ situations and advises against sex in the first stages of a relationship.

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“You might never know if a man is sincere, especially when one is blown away by sweet romance. Women should always be cautious of what a guy does or says during the first stages of dating. Some are only after the goodies. So, they should be patient and date for longer periods so that they can develop feelings for each other,” she says.

According to Catherine, single parenthood not only leaves women heart-broken with a lifetime burden of taking care of their children, but also places them at risk of getting infected with HIV and other sexually-transmitted diseases.
“Having unprotected sex is a risk both to the woman and the child. As much as the man may not support the child, she could easily be infected with HIV because these men tend to have multiple sex partners,” she warns.
While men who sire children and then take off have enjoyed relative anonymity, one man and his Facebook page changed all that.

 The men on the spotlight
No one had ever heard of Suba MP John Mbadi’s personal assistant Job Nyangilo till he was aired to dry on Dead Beat Kenya for allegedly being a ‘runway dad.’
But when contacted by The Nairobian, Job said he was planning to sue the page’s administrator and the woman for defamation.
“I was not even consulted and they even involved my boss who is very angry,” he said. Job acknowledges Fellah as his ex-wife and the mother of his daughter“I really don’t understand why she had to do this when I have all the evidence from Safaricom showing that I have been supporting her. I even pick the child on Sundays to take her to KFC (fast food chain) for lunch,” he says.
Other alleged fathers mentioned on Dead Beat Kenya include Jackson Ngechu, Kimotho Makini a.k.a Prezzo, Ken Ouko, a former rugby player for Kenya Harlequin, Paul Karung’o, an MCA in Kiambu, and retired Chief Justice Evan Gicheru’s son.
When contacted, Ken said that he did not want to comment on the matter. “If you want the whole story, then talk to the woman. I’m not interested in talking to the media,” he said before hanging up.
Karung’o, on the other hand, referred us to his lawyer, Ndegwa Njiru of Ndegwa and Ndegwa advocates. “We were in court on September 17 seeking an injunction to bar any further publication regarding my client. We are suing for defamation. Child maintenance cannot be sought on social media when there is a children’s court. The purpose was to embarrass a political leader,” Ndegwa told The Nairobian.
Former chief Justice Evan Gicheru’s son, who also goes by the same name, simply said, “I have no comment, the matter is with proper authorities. If you wish, my lawyers will contact you.”
On September 17, MCA Karungo got orders from court to stop Dead Beat Kenya from further posting any allegations about him on Facebook. Karungo said the post on the Facebook page about him were defamatory.