A Kenyan woman is going to unusual lengths to save her marriage. Njeri Mucheru is fighting back on what she terms as her husband’s “deaf ears” through her blog NjeriMucheru.com . Njeri narrates how she came to find out that her husband was HIV positive even before they were married. She says however that through the 9 years of marriage and 3 children, she is still HIV negative. Njeri says once she discovered her husband’s infidelity, she has not been speaking to him nor picked up his phone calls. This prominent lawyer has turned to blogging to seek the public’s help in reaching out to her husband for him to get saved. She says this is the only way she is ever talking to him again. Here is part of the blog….
Lesson 2 of her blog:
On the night of Friday 5th July 2013, my husband came and knocked on the door to the room I was sleeping in. I had been sleeping in the visitor’s room for several months after I decided to end my marriage. I would not have opened the door had I not been sleeping.
I never spoke to my husband. I stopped speaking to him many months before I moved out of our bedroom and eventually even stopped picking his calls. For many months we lived in complete silence. I never asked him for anything at all. Thanks to my God, I have a successful career and was making my own money which was enough for me to provide for myself and my three children sufficiently.
On that night, when I opened the door and saw my husband standing there, I almost collapsed. I quickly came to my senses and listened to what he had to say. Fortunately he had not learned of what I had been doing for the last 4 days. I had been moving mine and my children’s clothes and personal effects to my mum’s house with the intention of leaving him and taking the children with me. He was not aware that this night was the very last night I was ever to spend in that house.
He said that he wanted to talk to me and I quickly said that I couldn’t talk because I was sleeping and perhaps we could talk on the next day. I will never know what it was that he wanted to talk about because the next day I left before he was awake. I did not want to talk. The last time we talked, I expressly told him that I was done talking. There really was nothing left to say. I had said, heard and seen enough to know that I was never meant to have survived my marriage. I was never meant to have had any children and if I had any, even my children were never meant to survive the marriage.
God is good. He is a good God. He taught me to forgive my husband and move on with my life. Forgiveness really truly is not for the person who hurts you but for you who is hurt. What my husband had done was unforgiveable. I was nevertheless able to forgive him when I realized that what he had done had destroyed him and not me or my children. Like Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego, I had been put into a burning furnace and came out not even smelling of smoke!
Today I want to teach you about forgiveness and just how easy it is when you know what it means to forgive.
You can only forgive a person when you are able to rise above your own pain and hurt and realize the following:-
1. Anyone who hurts you has been hurt. More often than not, that person was not hurt by you.
2. Anyone who hurts you hurts too.
3. You will never understand why anyone hurts you.
4. You can understand that anyone who hurts another is motivated by his/her own pain and not by his/her own pleasure.
5. Being hurt by someone is a choice.
6. The only alternative choice to being hurt is to change. You either hurt or you change.
7. Never wait for the person who hurt you to change. More often than not, that will never happen.
8. It is you, and not the person who hurt you, who has to change for you to stop hurting.
9. Even if, by some miracle, the person who hurt you changes, you will never stop hurting until you change too.
10.The change you have to make is to strive to become a better person.
11. You cannot change yourself.
12. Only your maker; your creator; the one true living God, can change you and make you a better person.
13. Forgiveness is the only means by which to stop hurting and choose to change.
14. Forgiveness comes when the hurt is worth the change you see in you.
15. You can never become a better person if you never get hurt.
Summary for This Lesson:-
Do not let the pain hurt you, let it change you.
Tip for this lesson:-
The lesson is in the doing. Don’t try to understand forgiveness; just do it.
Fast forward to….Lesson 27 of her blog……
My husband called me yesterday. I do not pick his calls. I do not speak to him. I stopped speaking to him because he does not listen to me. He does not listen to anything I say.
Since I discovered about his infidelity, I came to realize that everything I ever said to him was stored in a folder in his mind for future use.
Since I discovered about his infidelity, I came to realize that everything I ever said to him was stored in a folder in his mind for future use.
At one time, he told me that someone called him a ‘gold-digger’. He then said that I was going around telling people that I am the one who supports our family and not him. He reached this conclusion because according to him, I always told people about the things that I had done like when I paid for the new sofas in our home. This is when he was telling me what was wrong with me. He said I was boastful.
At another time, he reminded me that I once compared him to one of his relatives and told him that he was refusing to think and with that I meant that he and his relatives are fools; so I look down on them.
I am unable to explain myself to my husband and he is unable to hear me let alone understand me. I also do not want to get into any argument with him. The image of me that he has concocted in his mind is a lie. I am not who he thinks I am.
I was told that he was calling me because he is afraid of my speaking at the Ignite Summit.
My husband’s greatest fear is for people to know who he really is.
I on the other hand find great joy in revealing my true self to the whole world.
In order to get saved, God made me face my greatest fear which was being rejected by a man that I loved. It is true that I was proud. I believed that I was all that and my husband was lucky to have me as his wife. The realization of just how little my husband valued my love for him tormented me and almost killed me.
Now it is my husband’s turn to get saved. We are saved by the grace of God. I believe that my husband can get saved because God is using me to make my husband face his greatest fear. God never fails and cannot be defeated. My husband will get saved. You wait and see.
We are married. We are one. So the same rules apply to my husband as they applied to me. I got saved, so will he.
Anything I ever said or did ended up in the folder in my husband’s mind from which he extracted all manner of accusations against me to tell his girlfriends what was wrong with me. In the same way, anything my husband says or does will end up on this blog.
The difference here is motive. My husband’s motive was to demean me; my motive is to save my husband. There is a very important point to gather here. What my husband did showed me what was wrong with me and when I realized what was wrong with me, I changed and got saved. I am doing the same for my husband.
My husband’s number is 0722523443 . He also has a celtel number 0733523443. (The last five digits of his current receptionist/girlfriend’s number are 23443).
At this stage, I would like to make a special request to you, my readers.
Any of you who is determined to see my husband get saved, please call him for me and give him the following message:
Tell him that because he is the father of my children, I love him and what I am doing writing this blog and speaking at the ignite summit and appearing on television where I am telling, and will tell the whole world about what he did to me, is motivated by that love. He should therefore just relax and not fear anything. Tell him that I want him to get saved so that he can be able to hear me when I talk to him and it is only when he gets saved that I will start talking to him again. For now, he will have to talk to me through others. Ask him whether he has any message for me and listen to the message. Whatever happens when you call, post it as a comment to this lesson.
The ‘Save David Campaign’ is not a one woman show. I cannot save him alone. You guys have to help me.
David has to come to a realization that the real him is as wonderful a sight to behold as the real me is. He should remember just how young, slim and beautiful I became once I faced my greatest fear and let God help me overcome it.
Come to the Ignite Summit on Tuesday 17th September 2013 and watch me on K24 on Friday 20th September 2013 at 8.30pm and come to the GSAS on 28th September 2013 from 3.30pm to 5.30pm and see for yourself.
Summary for This Lesson:-
Summary for This Lesson:-
The real you is a wonderful sight to behold.
Tip for this lesson:-
Find your greatest fear and face it head-on.
To read more from Njeri, visit her bloghttp://njerimucheru.com/
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