Strange tale of a teacher who faints during bedroom marathons concerns the village

UuuBy Andrew Mibei 

Elders in a village in Longisa, Bomet County are having sleepless nights, scratching their heads and sweating over a solution to a rare case reported to them.

A newly-wed distressed wife, desperate for a quick solution, has thrown the council of elders into a spin after she reported that her husband always faints whenever they engage in ‘gland to gland’ combat.

The man in question, only identified as Kiprono is a teacher at a local school and recently held a colourful wedding, which is still the talk of the village.

Prior to his marriage, Kiprono was the undisputed holder of a record for being the only known celibate man in the locale, and it was even rumoured that he was the only known grown up virgin by the time of his marriage.

On their wedding night, Kiprono was rushed to a nearby hospital after his wife reported that he had suddenly fainted as they consummated marriage.

People quickly dismissed the incident, with some claiming that it might have been as a result of fatigue after the vigorous activities — dancing and all — of his big day.

Upon medical examination, doctors found nothing wrong with the young man and discharged him. Unfortunately, it didn’t even take a week before the incident occurred again, in the throes of passion, throwing the woman into a panic.

Kiprono’s mother became worried of what had become of her son.

Scandalous incident

“My son’s strange fainting that started just after his marriage has left me alarmed. I suspect his wife is a member of some cult or there is something suspicious about her family and she could be hell bent on harming him. But why she would do such beats me,” said the worried mother.

While reporting to the elders, the disturbed wife said her husband’s mother, too, is so worried by the situation that she recently suggested something very strange.

“So desperate was his doubtful mother that she even suggested that we allow her in our bedroom to witness the strange occurrence first hand, something I could not allow,” reported Kiprono’s wife.

After the scandalous incident, neigbhours became very curious and one, who talked to this writer, even resorted to listening to the couple’s bedroom activities, just to have a rough idea of exactly what happens before the man faints. 

The neighbour reported that for a few days nothing unusual happened, until recently when the couple engaged in the act and all of a sudden it became “hair, teeth and eyes all over the place” with the young man gasping for breath rather loudly as he swore never to faint again.

“Matanue ra ee. Nan asiakgiilge (I will never faint again),” Kiprono was overheard muttering. He was actually promising his wife that the embarrassing incident would never occur again.

This was followed by the voice of his wife pleading with him to enjoy and not faint while at it. Before long, the young man fainted. “Kalyan kogeny? Ibak karitonuu ako kelenjon metwou (What’s happened again? You have fainted yet you told me you would be okay),” a neighbour overheard the woman complaining.

The angry woman reported the matter to a council of elders in the village, with the hope that they can help unravel the mysterious fainting.

Elders are still at pains to explain the puzzle, and some are even suggesting they enlist the services of a witchdoctor to fix the problem.